Hey yo, been a while guys. Not sure if j_alan_b, oldpuffin, frothingslosh71 or even makotomizuhara will see this, but in case you're interested, the beer I am bringing consists of:
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Unibroue Trois Pistoles
Stone Sublimely Self-Righteous Arogant Bastard
Samuel Smiths Organic Strawberry Fruit Beer
Sameul Smiths Nut Brown Ale
Flying Dog Tire Biter
Elevator Dark Horse (6-pack)
Columbus Brewing Company Summer Teeth (6-pack)
Alltech Kentucky Bourbon Barrel Ale (4-pack)
Gamewise, I'm bringing Gloom, Unspeakable Words, Runebound, my 1000 Blank Cards deck and a fat pack of MTG: New Phyrexia for John, Jason and I to draft with, as well as a deck or two if Jason wants to play. Lisa also has Diplomacy, but unless someone REALLY wants to try it, I'm not going to bring it because neither Lisa or I have ever played a game and it looks fairly daunting.
Hope to see you guys soon!
Alright, I know I said I'd be posting serious stuff, and I still need to explain what the fuck I'm doing here, but I've been coming out of a funk lately and, to be honest, I'm a little scared of opening up like this. So, as a distraction, allow me to offer you the results of a 'worst metal videos ever' thread on a music site I occasionally visit.
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A quarter to a person who can watch this for 30 seconds without giggling. It's just...so damn 80's hair metal.
Curling and metal. Caution: this video may actually be awesome.
The sad part is, these guys so obviously think they are totally badass. You can tell by the way they're head banging; I just want to tell them to stop trying so hard. I personally like the shift at 2:45 to the dance club techno and the wacky white guy Peanuts dance they all do. Also, autotone in a metal video?
And, the best for last...
WTF?!?!? I was literally laughing so hard I was crying by the end of this. It's like a bunch of D&D nerds decided that filming one of their LARP sessions would make the most awesome death metal video ever. It really just keeps getting worse and worse the longer it goes on. I personally like the guy who looks like he broke into Hogwarts, stole a robe and a hat, then decided to go to the video shoot.
Unfortunately, real life interfered with my plans, so this won’t be nearly as dramatic as I had originally intended, but I’ll try to make do.
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In case you’re like me and all you look at is the icon of the person posting, you may not have noticed but my username has changed to worlds_unseen. In addition, my Facebook also uses that username (as well as my real name) and I’ve just opened account on Dreamwidth and *shudders* Twitter. There’s not much at either of the last two yet, but I should slowly be updating and adding things to them soon. If you use any of those applications and you’re even vaguely interested in seeing what I’m up to, I’d appreciate being added, followed and stalked or whatever it is they’re calling it now.
So why the name change? That’s pretty simple actually; I like names to have meanings associated with them and NekoWorldOrder meant absolutely nothing. It was a quick throw-away joke, a lousy pun made about conspiracy theories and Trigun. So if names are so important to me, why did I use such a pointless one for my journal?
Tomorrow: The power of names, the worlds unseen and lives unlived, and why one man's cancer is another man's inspiration.
Yeah, so I'm getting worse and worse about updating my LJ when I keep saying that I'm gonna do more with it. Well, that ends after today.
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Starting on Monday, I'm rolling out a little project I've been working on that I'd like to think of as an 'open-life experiment'. Basically, it's a completely open and honest look at my life, both past and present, in an attempt to force me outside my comfort zone. Not entirely sure how it's going to work, but it should at least force me to write again, which is good, since my writing style has gone completely to shit. Then again, if I stop writing for two years, what should I expect?
Just a warning though; some of the stuff I'll be posting may be a little personal. I'll be tagging posts again, this time with some much more obvious tags, and using LJ cuts when I get a little too weird. If it looks like it might make you uncomfortable, just skip past it and ask me for a Cliff's Notes version later.
Gonna go crash here now, since I'm going to a party tomorrow for a friend who's moving back to Ohio. Have a good night everyone.
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-Moved across Columbus
-Put six work orders in to repair things at my new place and STILL love it
-Gotten my work schedule adjusted to what I want it to be
-Gone into a funk
-Put off actually doing stuff at the new place
-Finally unpacked and put up most of our stuff
-Saw Watchmen (totally awesome)
-Saw Heywood Banks, who is hysterical
-Helped two of my friends move on short notice
-Realized I'm not as uptight as I used to be about who I consider a friend
-Got to see JayJ and Coop, even ran a D&D game with them and Lisa
-Actually went out drinking with co-workers
-Finally made a connection with some of those co-workers
-Read the new Dresden Files book
-Got to meet Jim Butcher, who is as cool in real life as you'd suspect from his writing
-Just got out of my funk by listening to "I Feel Fantastic" on loop for about a half and hour
I've been tired as hell and busy with a ton of little things; I'm hoping I can use this weekend to get some rest while finishing up all the loose ends from the move. I really want to start devoting some time to creative pursuits again, and if I can get all the little things out of the way, I won't be able to come up with excuses anymore.
Oh, and I'll post all the details about Jim Butcher on Saturday, when I have some more time.
Note: I'm being purposefully vague here because I refuse to give any of the following entities more exposure.
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I've been following articles on an upcoming protest that seems to be completely wing-nutty crazy. In doing so, a few of the reports have pointed out that there's a serious amount of discussion about these protests on various white supremacist sites. Since I'm always amused by the batshit crazy of the world, I decided that I'd take a gander at what the hate crowd was saying.
Now keep in mind, I'm nowhere close to being politically correct. Though I've never been anything more than casually racist myself (think Avenue Q's "Everyone's a Little Bit Racist" number), I grew up in Southwestern PA in an area where the Klan used to hold public rallies with their hoods off. I probably know more racist jokes that most of my friends put together, and I often shock people with my knowledge of slurs. Hell, I work in a restaurant as a waiter, a job that you do your best at when you clump people into groups based on first impressions. I'm not easily shocked.
Damn, these people scare me.
See, in my experience, racists fall into two categories; retarded redneck hillbillies who hate everyone who's not them with all their heart or upper-class who take generalizations at face value because such cultures are beneath them. The first group is so vitriolically insane that no one with half a brain really listens to the tirade of filth they spew while the second group is basically clueless that they're being offensive and aren't onboard with some bigoted agenda.
Problem is, I am apparently racist against racists, because at the site I visited, these people are motivated, intelligent, coherent and, most frighteningly, politically active. There's serious talk about organizing militias, protests, petitions, hell, even community action groups that will hold neighborhood barbeques. It scares the shit out of me because these people, unlike the normal black helicopter and Illuminati crowd I normally mock, aren't a bunch of morons flailing about in the night every time someone spooks them. These people want to either kick minorities out of the country or kill them, and they're willing to put in the work to do it.
That said, I can't help being amused at people self-censoring their swear words. Nine pages into a thread and I could post almost all of it in any public forum and not kick in any profanity filters.
Yesterday, I was asked by one of my managers if I could come into work on Saturday to help out on Valentines Day. Seeing that I'm getting ready to move, the extra cash sounded good. However, seeing that I was moving on Sunday, as in today, it was putting a serious crimp in my schedule. However, after I was assured that they simply wanted extra people on so that they'd be ready for any early rush and that I would be the first cut, I accepted.
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I'm sure you can see the upcoming "Clerks" line here, right? I wasn't even supposed to be here today?
Turns out said manager just decided to flat out lie to me. They were actually one person short, so I was their fill-in person. Oh, and they scheduled me as the closer. After throwing a fit (I believe my exact words were screaming "Are you fucking kidding me?"), I was scheduled first cut, though I knew full well I wouldn't be let go early.
Now this is irritating enough, but worst of all? My section was what an old manager at a different stored used to refer to as 'choked'. Essentially, you are sat very slowly and with small parties in hopes that you can be cut early so they can be saved some hours, which for scheduling purposes, rate somewhere between gold and crude oil for worth in the restaurant industry. Of course, it's sometimes done to punish a server, so perhaps someone was offended by my outburst.
Mind you, I could have dealt with this; I came into work, made some money and didn't have to work very hard to do it. But then, due to their brilliant scheduling, I had to stay an extra half hour to finish work other servers should have been doing. Then, as the manager who started this in the first place is cashing me out, that person glances at the amount I had in sales and comments how low they are.
Amazingly, I let said manager live.
I took time out of my schedule, inconvenienced my girlfriend (who had to try to pack our stuff by herself) and essentially had my goodwill abused. So now, it's almost 2:30AM and I'm going to sleep when I finish this post. I'll be up in five hours to finish packing and take apart my computer and my desk. Then I get to move across town, unpack my stuff, arrange my apartment, have the cable guy install everything, change all my computer settings, buy groceries to restock the house and then collapse into a sore heap at my new place.
The moral of this story? It's for my managers.
This is why I don't answer my phone when you call.
Alright, well, while I've got this under control for a few minutes, let's talk.
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The transmission in my old car died. Being that it was a 1984 Crown Victoria LTD, that's not terribly surprising, even accounting for it only having about 80,000 miles on it. After scrambling for two and a half weeks, having three cars literally sold only minutes before I reserved them, getting rejected for a loan and then driving back to Pennsylvania to take out a loan through my parents, I managed to get a 2004 Chevy Caviler with fairly low mileage at a decent price.
I then promptly broke it within twenty-four hours of owning it, further demonstrating that I am a walking entropy magnet for cars. Still, that problem has been dealt with and I'm hoping I bought a car that had a problem, not a car that is a problem. Soon, the LTD will be towed and junked; my only regret is that I can't give Lisa's brother enough time to rip the engine out of it for his own use.
So, onto the next source of stress for me, the impending move. With only a few days to go, I can't get the gas turned on because Columbia Gas can't seem to find the street address. This is made more frustrating because I briefly worked for them and know it's probably because somebody on their end typed it in wrong. So now I need to find a meter number to get the service set up. In addition, due to the car problem, we're behind on our packing and it's starting to look like we won't have anyone to help us move. Hell, it's starting to look like having to rent the old place an additional two weeks is going to turn out to be a good thing.
That seems to be the theme of this year so far for me; turning problems into solutions. The aforementioned extra lease time. The death of my old car, which forced me to get a (hopefully) more reliable car and take out a loan that should give me enough cash to consolidate all my bad debt and improve my credit. Even my job situation, which deserves a post of its own.
So far, the best thing 2009 has given me is another one of those situations; I was forced to confront how terrified I am of being abandoned by those I love. How I'm frightened that if I can't carry myself through a crisis without any help, everyone I know will grow to hate me and leave. It's a problem I've always had to some extent, but I hadn't realized how much the breakup with my ex had exacerbated the problem until recently. So I made a conscious effort to change my way of thinking and turn this problem into another solution.
To help combat that, I'm returning to writing. I gave up on it almost two years ago because I just couldn't do things perfectly. Of course I can't; nobody is and despite how much I've written, in the grand scheme, it's very little. Even before I quit, I made little excuses here and there, thinking I could do it when things were calmer. Of course, things never truly settle down in life and there's always some crisis looming over the horizon. So in addition to forcing myself to post more frequently in LJ (which was put on hold due to the craziness with the car), I'm going to occasionally be posting snippets of stories.
Quite frankly, if I don't, my head is going to explode. I've got so many ideas running through my head right now that it's hard to think at times. I guess we'll see how this goes as well.
*...proceeds to start punching 2009 in the face*
To: The Year 2009
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Re: Previous LJ Post
Fuck you, 2009.
...since I don't live in Pennsylvania anymore, someone will need to send me an MP3 of the new Steelers Superbowl song. ^_^
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2009, this does not make up for the starting slump of this month, but this is a good apology. I'm taking you off warning and marking you down as 'cautiously optimistic'.
If I were to describe 2008 to you, I could do it in two words: Holding pattern.
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That was both the best and worst thing about last year. I managed to move from Pittsburgh to Columbus, live with the lovely q_sama for almost a year without any major problems and still manage to pay the bills on time. Not too shabby for a guy who, four years ago, had trouble accomplishing anything in a whole year. The problem, however, is that I've been using where I came from as a baseline for evaluating my life and while how far I've come is impressive, it's not terribly satisfying when I realize how little I've actually accomplished in the ten months I've lived in Ohio.
I'm motivated by challenges while simultaneously being terrified of failure. There's almost nothing that, when I honestly tried, I didn't succeed at, but there's so much that I purposely sabotaged so I wouldn't have to find out if I was good enough. In some twisted part of my mind, I feel that if give up, it doesn't count as a failure. I know that's not true, you know it's not true, hell, the band Rush knows that it's not true.
But once again, that old holding pattern reappears.
I'm starting to see those old habits bubbling up to the surface. I've been looking for a new job in a field thats constantly hiring, but I'm applying to very few jobs, often to ones that actually don't fall inside the parameters of what I'm looking for anyways. Ironically, it's not the interview that scares me, it's that I'll be rejected without even getting that interview. It's not the thought that I won't like the job, it's the thought that I might end up stuck in the same position five years from now. Essentially, I beat myself black and blue with self-pitying sophilism. All the while, I'm putting the rest of my life on hold while I try to work this all out.
Quite frankly, I need to get over my own bullshit.
So this post is sort of a covenant with the few people who still read my LJ. I promise not to pull this shit anymore. To help, I'll be posting a lot of pointless little updates on LJ, which will let people keep track of me (including the aforementioned wonderful girlfriend). It should also help me get back into the habit of writing, something that I've sorely missed. Though it's harder for me to perform under pressure, it's more likely that I'll actually perform if I know someone is watching.
*waits while jokes about 'performance' are made*
Oh yeah, and if I do start writing again, I need to work on my endings for my posts. That used to be the easiest part for me. Not so much anymore.
...See what I mean?
Apparently, LJ laid off 20 of its 28 employees. This has, of course, created widespread panic among the LJ community, with people pissing their pants and cowering in lockers as the serial killer in the hockey mask stalks his next victim.
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Wait, I think that was a movie.
Seriously though, this happens during every major change with LJ. Shit happens, users have a conniption fit, everything goes back to normal, people forget. Admittedly, entropy breaks everything down eventually, but LJ won't disappear overnight; if it does go down, you'll have time to back up all those quizzes you took that told you that you were TOTALLY Snape. The only people who are getting seriously screwed here are those who were laid off, though potentially, those with lifetime accounts could get screwed as well.
Oh yeah. HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!
Significantly earlier than last year.
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1. Put your iTunes, Windows Media Player, etc. on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. You must write that song name down no matter how silly it makes you look.
4. Title this post what the answer to your last question is.
5. Good luck and have fun!
IF SOMEONE SAYS "IS THIS OKAY" YOU SAY?
"Sympathy for the Devil"-The Rolling Stones
HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE YOURSELF?
"All Fired Up"-Pat Benatar
WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
"Dumb Love"-Stone Temple Pilots
HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?
"Man Who Sold the World"-David Bowie
WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
"Enjoy the Silence"-Depeche Mode
WHAT DO YOU OFTEN THINK ABOUT?
"The Mourning After"-Kamelot
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
"Knowledge of Self (evol Intent Remix)"-BT
WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
"Walk Around in Circles"-Soul Coughing
WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
"Vicinity of Obscenity"-System of a Down
WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
"All I Want"-Toad the Wet Sprocket
WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
"In These Shoes"-Kirsty MacColl
WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST FEAR?
"Last Drop Falls"-Sonata Arctica
WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO NAME THIS POST?
"Land of Confusion"-Disturbed
I will admit, I did jump around randomly until the first song that came up made a touch of sense for the question asked. Also I skipped all instrumental video game or RPG music, as most of that is in my music folder by accident. I'm surprised how many of these turned out to be good matches.
Any questions from the peanut gallery?
Ah, I love pillow talk with Lisa.
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Last night, I had the best night of sleep I've had in a long time and I didn't even go to bed until 4AM. Seriously, the difference between a cheap mattress and a Sealy Posturepedic pillow-top is just that great. Though my back was still a little stiff, my legs aren't at all, whereas I usually have trouble standing after I first wake up. The real test will be my first night of sleep after I work, but I can safely say that I'll never cheap out on a bed again.
Actually, I think I'm going to go enjoy it again.
The name is Travis, I'm going on thirty and I love life.
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From the turn of the century onward, I participate in a campaign most ruthless; to eradicate from my life anything that I had ever cared about. I crashed and burned about as hard as a person can without getting drugs or sexual abuse involved. I was so good at it I even managed to destroy a ten-year relationship and NOT see that as a wake-up call to completely revise my life. Despite the small improvements I made, nothing major changed until I came to the dreadful realization that I was twenty-seven, a college drop-out, living with my parents, unemployed, forty grand in debt, out of shape, afraid of human contact and hated myself.
About two days later, I moved from tiny Uniontown, PA to Pittsburgh and crashed on my best friend's floor for five months. During that time, I got back into shape, got a job, started interacting with people again and paid down my debts. Somewhere in this time, I stopped hating myself. I managed to accomplish more in three freakin' months than I had in twenty-seven damn years.
Since I was enjoying being with friends again, I decided to attend a New Year's party being held by some of my old convention friends in Dayton, OH. Also, I was pretty desperate to get laid and was looking to potentially hook-up with people. The party turned out to be a disaster, but I met this cute girl there; pretty, intelligent, good conversationalist, we even shared the same interests; also, the twisted sense of humor and an ass that just didn't quit helped peak my interest. After failing to hook-up with her (by only a tiny bit, mind you), we parted ways.
She called me the next day. Good thing to; I was desperately in love with her already and scared as hell I was going to hurt myself all over again.
Fourteen months later, I moved to Columbus and moved in with her.
In the intervening time, I moved to the other side of Pittsburgh, brought serious closure to my feelings with my ex, got my student loans out of default, started cooking again, actually learned how to interact with coworkers, grew closer to my sister and learned to dream again.
Since moving to Columbus, I've hit a lull; for the first time in two years, my life isn't a hectic mess. For the first time in longer than I can remember, I am content. Unfortunately, I am both a perfectionist and a procrastinator; I want to do so much more with my life, but gosh darn it, I'm really happy and I want to take some time to enjoy it.
Luckily, I've also developed a third dominating characteristic over the last two years; I'm exceedingly proud of how I've turned my life around. This, coupled with the aforementioned trait of being a perfectionist, is finally forcing me to stop resting on my laurels.
So consider this, November 12th, 1:36AM EST, to be the second time in my life that I stood up and declared that I deserved better. Not because I’m some super awesome person because, let’s face it, I’m not. I’m just a regular person who realized that the trouble you face in life is nothing compared to the trouble you build for yourself and that the worries you have are almost always smaller than the reality you face. No, I deserve better because I still believe that everyone deserves better and that you can only really help others if you know how to help yourself.
All right, enough with the feel-good, circle-jerk hippy bullshit. In deserving better, I also deserve more sleep. I’m going to go get that now.
Lisa is right; James Carville could play Lord Voldemort.
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It's Pittsburgh on one side, Philadelphia on the other and Hogwarts in-between.
YES WE DID! YES WE DID!
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VOTE DAMN IT!
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...all the cool kids are doing it.
So apparently, a certain Christian charity refused to take a $17,000 donation because it was done by D&D fans in memory of Gary Gygax.
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I just don't have the words. Well, I do, but honestly, as a Christian myself, I try to take...awww, who am I kidding?
Fuck you, you self-righteous bigots; this was money for starving kids. It wasn't being donated by the Reformed Church of Satan, Gay Abortion Doctors for Atheism or even the Democratic Party, it was coming from a group of nerds. Is letting innocent people suffer because you refuse to take the money from a group of gamer geeks your idea of the moral high ground?
In conclusion, thank you for once again making it easy for people to justify their distaste of my religion. Honestly, when this is the example you set (and believe me, I'm a poor example of a Christian, so this is saying a lot), it's not surprising.